Désiré Mia

Désiré Mia believes that “energy doesn’t get lost,” so much so that it’s the belief that waters most of his life. The model, content creator, and now actor with his debut leading role in Absolute Dominion, recalls the pipe dream he planted first in Hanover, Germany; “I've never seen anyone growing up who [acted]. I was so naive to just believe that fantasy, but then to see it have legs and be an actual thing is unreal.” He prunes the fantasy, as he laughs, “It’s a first. In Germany, we would say, 'Die Kirche im Dorf lassen,' which means, 'Let's keep the church in town,' or 'Let's not get wild here.' It's always onwards and upwards.” Désiré knows that growth has to be tended to. And he’s tended to it from Germany to New York, as he continued his modelling career. On his acting debut, he says, “I’m most proud of having done something that would have made little Des very proud.” He smiles widely as he feels the energy little Des once held, too, in much smaller hands.

Our homes are proof that energy stays and seeps into the walls. Captured by photographer, fellow model, and friend, Dominique Babineaux, in his home, he is surrounded by life in the growing plant on his sunlit windowsill, the nostalgia held in his video camera, the frustration in the drilled ceiling holes after five failed Home Depot trips, and the familiarity felt between him and Dominique. Off guard, he looks at the books beside him. One recent read is on Adlerian Psychology, which he says is about decision-making. He continues, “The toughest thing when choosing growth is seeing comfort and pushing it away, constantly. Growth never becomes comfortable. It doesn’t feel rewarding until it does.”

Alfred Adler has been known to say, “Trust only movement,” and Désiré does just that, even if it’s uncomfortable–especially when it’s uncomfortable. And there’s something deeply uncomfortable about stepping through the door from fantasy to reality. Désiré trained at the Identity School of Acting in London, but I ask what he feels he could have only learned about acting through experience. He answers, “The real-world circumstances that are attached to filming on a big set are very hard to replicate. That can be extras who are cold because you aren’t working fast enough. You feel that energy and intense pressure.” We often refer to “real life” when we talk about growth outside of an insulated environment, when we are exposed to outside elements and are tasked with moving forward, still clutching the same hope. He continues, “It was so technical–you have to walk from mark to mark, and that’s where you have to start your line. It completely takes you out of your fantasy.” The vulnerability that he had nurtured in his fantasy had suddenly been thrown into what he calls “the wilderness of a camera set.” He finishes, “All of a sudden, I was open to all of these impulses, and it was really hard to focus because I wasn’t used to that environment.”

Yet, that seed of fantasy still existed in his body as years of Taekwondo training flourished into his role as Sagan Bruno–a role that Director Lexi Alexander told him 855 other people auditioned for, many of whom were working actors. Désiré says, “If I had known that before, there was going to be no chance I would have gotten it. I would have been so nervous.” He calls filming “the good kind of tough,” especially physically, as he recalls twelve-hour days and losing so much weight that he had to be sewn into his costume; “I went from a medium to an extra small and they had to sew it because I was just burning calories the whole day.”

While growth exists in pushing away comfort, it also exists in knowing when to, once again, “Keep the church in town.” When speaking about the beginning of filming, he says, “I was so scared to risk anything and to Ad-lib or go a little off script, which is where I think the most beautiful moments happen. But I didn’t dare at that time. I felt the pressure on my shoulders, and I don't think I was ready for that kind of storytelling yet.” In the film, nothing is worse to a fighter than familiarity, but for Désiré, nothing is worse to him than mediocrity; “My siblings make fun of me because I have a tough time accepting mediocrity. I think what many artists have in common is the pain of something not being good enough. And for some reason, that’s been very strong in me for a while.” But he’s learned that “good enough” is a fence we often build ourselves.

A line in the film is, “If he beats you up and then you beat yourself up, you’re taking two beatings instead of one.” I ask him about his own relationship with self-critique, and he talks about converting a negative critic into a positive coach; “It can either be, I want to paint this perfect painting, or I want to paint it in exactly one hour and see what happens. And so it is less outcome-driven. Instead of having [self critique] beat you up, use it as a coach; it doesn't have to be against you. It can be with you.” It’s this same mindset that has opened his palms to accept seeds from those around him who have had to grow in discomfort, too. He mentions his manager, Brandon Wilson, with Wilson Model Management, who “had to learn the hard way,” but was “able to pass on [lessons] to everyone that he represents.” He also says co-star Olunike Adeliyi, “plays a primary role in telling me about the industry–what to prepare, when you don’t have to always learn all the lines for an audition.” He describes the film set as a “nurturing environment that carried on even after filming,” as he cultivates a willingness to receive as much as he wants to give.

Even as we speak, I can hear his earnest desire for continued growth like roots wriggling in soil. As if turning towards home and the long road behind him, he says, “Up to this point in my life, external validation has been a big part of my drive for me. The more I talk about it, the more I realise it doesn’t really work long term. I would like to go further down the road of not caring too much about what other people want me to do.” He continues, “Easing away from validation is one of my bigger challenges. I also want to leave ego, the unhealthy kind. Being very competitive, it’s always difficult to apologise for small things. I want to grow and grow from that.” And so he leaves his door as a gardener too, setting home-grown seeds free, forward as he goes.