Alec Benjamin

It’s an overcast day as Alec and I sit to chat. He’s perched on a cushioned couch, shifting around throughout our conversation to get into more comfortable positions. Halfway through, Alec slips off his sneakers and lounges criss-crossed on the sofa, bundled up in a sweatshirt. He says he tends to wear the “same shit” every day, as we talk about being genuine and how his persona on the internet isn’t a valid representation of who he is in day-to-day life. I mean, whose is, really? With the deception of the internet nowadays, it can be hard to tell, but Alec is set on being as honest and transparent as possible. Our conversation rings true to this, as we bounce off of each other’s thoughts and venture into an array of topics ranging from spilling raw emotions into our journals to how knowledgeable we are about zodiac signs.

Alec is a firework flying towards the sky in technicolour, speaking to him is lighting the fuse, then waiting for the spark to soar. He processes my queries in silence for a few beats before collecting his thoughts and giving as sincere of an answer as he can. There’s something refreshing about the pauses, then the insight and exchanges that follow, as Alec takes flight into free-formed thoughts. His new album, 12 Notes, is a clear reflection of this, as the collection of songs pulls the listener into an intimate sensation of peering into someone’s inner dialogue.

The album feels like the internal workings of one’s heart. It is true and honest whilst cruising into vulnerable and emotional planes. The sensitivity Alec carries into each of his lyrics is truly a special thing to experience, and along with the constant imagery that Alec is so naturally able to forge, the flow of story-telling surfaces a feeling similar to drinking a cool glass of water on a sweltering summer’s day. In the spirit of warming weather and the earth waking up from a long, chilling slumber, Alec is paying ode to the twists and turns, while remembering to always tune in to the beautiful moments of life led by empathy and intuition.

Alec’s album, 12 Notes, releases May 10, 2024.

Alec! So lovely to meet you, I’m looking forward to this chat. Where are you in the world?
Nice to meet you too! I’m currently in Orange County, California. Where are you?

I’m in Jackson, Wyoming.
Oh! I have some friends from Wyoming. I haven’t spent much time there, though. Did you grow up there?

Yeah, I did. I’ve just been home for a bit before I go to Seattle this coming autumn.
That’s so exciting - I love Washington State, and Seattle is awesome. It's one of my favourite places to go - especially on a really sunny day.

It really is! And you should spend some time in Wyoming, too. It’s really pretty in Jackson - come play a show!
I’d love that. I’m on my way! [laughs]

Well, my first question is a quirky one, but I’ve been asking my friends lately and it’s pretty fun! What shape and colour do you feel like today?
Oh, gosh. I want to give you an honest answer. Sometimes I'm tempted to answer something in the most clever way, you know? But I want it to be true. Can you tell me yours first?

Mine gets a little random, but today I’m feeling like a ceramic mug that’s the colour of the earth after it’s just rained. I think that’s probably because I’ve been drinking a lot of tea today, and it’s been raining here!
Hmm, this is hard for me because I’m a very auditory person. I’m looking at a frisbee right now, so I’ll say that I’m a circle. You know….the circle of life! [laughs] And the frisbee is green, so I’m green. There we go, a green circle of life.

That’s very fun! There’s really no right or wrong with this, I love doing it because it makes me come back into my body and feel more present and grounded. I tend to float off at times.
Yeah, that’s a really interesting way to look at things, too. I definitely have been trying to practise staying present and grounded.

If you had to live by one phrase or line from any song you’ve written, which line would it be?
I don't know if I would live by this, but I have a line in my song, “If We Have Each Other” that says, “The world's not perfect, but it's not that bad.” Some people might say, “Oh, it's easy for you to say” because obviously, I have the privilege of being born in a country like the United States. For as many problems as it has, I still have a lot of privileges here. I think it's good to try and look for the silver lining in things.

I have a lot of resentments and things that come up in my life. I get stuck and I perseverate on things. Sometimes it's good for me to remember that for all of the negatives, there are also positives. So, things aren't perfect, but they're not that bad. I can't speak for everybody, but I'm fortunate enough that the line rings true for me. The wise man once said… [laughs] No, just kidding.

I’ll be sure to write down “The wise man, Alec, once said…” [laughs] So you have an album coming out, 12 Notes. I had the opportunity to listen to the unreleased songs, and it really took me on a journey! I tend to multitask while I listen to music, so I was folding my laundry and jamming out.
That was the second title option for the album, actually. It was either 12 Notes or Music To Fold Your Laundry To.

I mean, I think that’d sell millions! Looking back on the process of making this album, is there a certain imagery or emotion that encompasses the whole journey?
Well, I put a lot into it. Last year I had so many things I was dealing with in my life. There were a lot of changes that I needed to make and was on the cusp of making, but I wasn't ready yet to make them. I've now since made them, and the album is done. Looking back at the making of the record is interesting because I had no idea what the fuck I was doing. I kind of still feel that way. When I look back on it, it's weird for me because I don't look at my life in terms of different periods, so an album feels very final. I always feel like I'm not done with whatever I'm working on. It's like, Oh, how do I look back on it? I can't even remember. I have no idea. I don't even know if it's good! Well, depending on your definition of good, right? You can play semantic games, but ultimately if we both have a mutual understanding of what our definition of good is, then we can be objective about whether it's good or not. And so when I say “good”, I mean commercially viable. We'll find out!

What I will tell you is that it was an experiential thing, and I wrote it as I was going through it. The album's called 12 Notes, and my albums are always a bit of a diary, or sometimes I'll look back on past events and write stories about other people. I'll write about things after they've already happened - I’ll just get home and journal. So these songs are just twelve of the journal entries that I have written over the last year, except for one or two that I pulled from songs I had written in the past that my fans had been asking for, but felt like they fit into the fold.

There’s such wonderful storytelling in your music, and the imagery you create is so palpable. How has imagery influenced you as an artist, but also as a music lover yourself?
Last year, one of the themes was a longing for something, whether that be a romantic connection or a friendship or wanting to be fixed by, like, a therapist or whatever. I felt very empty last year and was searching for fulfilment. I don't think I necessarily found it, but that kind of yearning is peppered throughout the record, whether it's me speaking to a romantic interest or my therapist or whatever. It was the feeling that something had gone missing, and I do feel a little more complete now. I'm happy to put the album out because I feel like I can close that chapter…even though I just said that I don't feel like I see my life in chapters. But, maybe it will help me move past that period in time.

There is a lot of yearning and wanting to fill up a space in this album, like you said. Do those feelings still sit on the front burner of your day-to-day creation, or have they dissipated?
One of the things that does make me feel complete is not necessarily journaling, but it's sharing the entries with people. Once the songs come out and I'm able to put those emotions out into the world, then maybe it will help me feel a bit more complete. But I'm not sure, I don't know yet. Sometimes it takes me years to know how I truly feel about something that I've made. With my first record, only now am I able to look back at that with any degree of perspective and be like, Oh, this is what this album means to me. I mean, I'm still going, so…to be continued. I have more notes to add, there are still some pages to fill.

What are you most proud of when you claim the title of “story-teller”?
Smoke is coming out of my ears. [laughs] Well, the music I listened to when I was younger inspired me, but I didn't know those songs were inspiring me at the time to become a lyricist and a musician. Those stories and songs made me think - there were a lot of different layers. There are a bunch of boxes you have to tick, where everyone's playing a different game and trying to tick different boxes. But for me, the boxes I wanted to tick were like, Okay, can I walk around to this with my Walkman? I remember listening to The Eminem Show, walking through Costco with my CD player and headphones on, and being blown away by the lyrics. Those songs made me think about life differently and took me on a journey. So, if I can do that for some people, and inspire some people to just think a little bit or ask some questions or disagree with me or agree with me…just to engage with my music on more than one level and more than the sonic level, that would be something that I would be proud of.

In your song “Pick Me” you say you’re a Gemini. Are you into astrology?
No, not at all! I mean, I’m not a hater. I don’t doubt the premise of when and where you were born has an impact on who you are as a person because that does make sense to me. But, in terms of that being in the song, I just know some people do like it, and it's something I experience a lot in dating, someone asking what my sign is. People in the past have been like, Oh, I knew you were a Gemini!

How easy or difficult does it feel to accept help and support from people in your life?
I wasn't so open to it while I was making this music. Now, I'm in a place where I'm pretty open and receptive to trying another path, but it hasn't been easy. Admitting things to people, writing things down, and talking about how you feel is difficult. In the songs, I genuinely was feeling some kind of pain. I think I wanted help, but didn't know how to ask for it. So, putting out this record is partially me asking for a little bit of that assistance. Now that I'm putting it out, it feels like a good time, because I'm open to being helped and I’m not trying to figure things out on my own. The less I try to figure it out on my own, the better.

“Different Kind of Beautiful” really took me on a journey and felt very immersive! How do you personally define beauty in another person?
In that song specifically, I’m talking about beauty in more of a superficial sense. It’s like when you see somebody who you just find attractive physically. I don't think that's the only ingredient, though. I think somebody’s brain - the way they think - is important and how they look at things and see the world. That, too, can also alter the way that you look at somebody physically. But in that song, I was particularly taken by someone's beauty and was so taken that I felt like I needed to write about it. I definitely wouldn't say that someone’s physical appearance is my standard for beauty though!

Speaking of beauty, especially inner beauty, what do you think is your most internally beautiful quality?
Oh, about myself? Hmm. It’s hard for me to say that about myself. I suppose I think and feel things very deeply. I’m pretty emotional. I wouldn’t say that’s particularly my best quality, but I do think it’s a beautiful thing. It’s a quality I possess, and you can’t experience beauty if you can’t feel and experience your emotions.

What’s an aspect of music making that’s seen as maybe more unconventional, but is exciting and important to you in the creative process?
I sort of always need to know what it is I want to talk about. A lot of people, and I used to write like this too, start with music and then figure out what to say. I have a list of topics that I'd like to touch on, and that comes first. I try to take from my list, then find a piece of music I feel encapsulates that emotion and try to turn it into a song. So, it always starts with what it is that I'm trying to say, but I don't know if that's different from what other people do. I just know that for me, that's how I work.

You’re going on tour soon, which is very exciting! How do you stay grounded and present during the bustle of touring?
Well, I've not done a very good job at it in the past, in terms of keeping a routine. Sometimes on the road, I tend to get very depressed. I don't sleep that well and have a difficult time being disciplined like I am when I’m home and have a routine. When I'm on tour, it sometimes feels like summer camp, where I can go to bed whenever I want, eat whatever I want, and wake up whenever I want. I mean, ultimately I have to be awake for the show, right, but I could wake up at 4 PM if I wanted to. So what I'm going to do moving forward is have a more regimented lifestyle during the tour. I'm going to go to bed right after my shows, I'm going to wake up in the morning and exercise, and I'm going to keep a pretty strict diet. I feel like those are the things that will be essential for keeping my mental health in check while I'm on the road.

For the past seven years, I've done a very abysmal job at managing all of that stuff. When I think of being grounded, I think of keeping my head from being in the clouds, but my tendency is not to float up high, it's actually to go below ground. So, I just need to find ways to stay at sea level. That's been difficult for me, but that's what I'm gonna try to do.

There’s a vital exchange of energy that happens during any creative process. How does the energy that you exchange during the recording and production differ from the energy playing live, with a room of people?
It's like a feedback loop that's not really completed until you actually go out and perform the songs. That's why I'm also in a place where I don't really know what the album is until I go out and sing it for people. I mean, it might suck! But that's also an important part of it, it's good information. I'll take that to the bank, then I'll go make new music and figure it out. But right now, I'm in that zone where I’m halfway through the feedback loop, and the need is to simply go get it out of my system and then come back.

There’s so much genuineness and transparency in your songwriting. How much does being true to yourself play a part in your creative process?
That is the most important part for me. Ultimately, I try to be true to every aspect of what I do. When I don't get it right, it's not because I'm not trying to be truthful or honest, it's just because I maybe haven't done a good job at expressing myself. But I like making sure that I'm precise. If there's one area where I had to be precise and leave less room for error, it would be with the lyrics. It’s the most important part for me. You know, I get styled and stuff, like when I take pictures and things like that, but ultimately I end up wearing the same shit every day. It’s just who I am. Sometimes I wear outfits that don't necessarily represent who I am, and I've not always been a hundred per cent true to myself, but you also just have to try things out. You have to mess up to know who you really are. You have to try shit.

I do think that, lyrically, I'm pretty uncompromising. If I'm in a songwriting session with collaborators, I'm always open to suggestions if people are, like, “Hey maybe let's try to do a different style of production.” I'm down for that. Even if people say that a lyric doesn’t make sense, I can look back and agree that I need to make some edits or make it sound better. Editing is fine. But if someone's like, “Oh, I don't like this or maybe we should lyrically talk about something else” that's the part where I'm just not interested, because this is what I want to talk about. It's my artistry. Like, thank you, but no, thanks. That’s just very important to me.

In our world today, it can be hard to know what’s genuine and what isn’t, especially with social media. How do you navigate social media for yourself and as an artist?
I don’t do a good job. The most pure version of who I am is in my music unless we're having a conversation, like you and I are right now. If you get to know me through my music, then there are parts of me you might identify with that you won’t get on social media. But if you're getting to know me purely through social media first…you're never going to be interested in listening to my songs! Some use social media for people to discover them, and for it to be a conduit where you can discover their music. That's never my expectation, even though I know I need to shift to that because the way people discover things nowadays is through short-form video content. But, like, fuck short-form video content - it's so annoying. It’s not what I signed up for. I mean, I make songs, and I have followers on social media because I have songs that people like. Nobody found me first through a photo of myself. They weren't like, "Wow, that was so cool when he photoshopped this [picture]." You know, no one's like, "Oh my God, yo, he's so jacked!" [laughs] Yeah, I don't navigate social media well, but I don't hate it - there's a lot of good in it too. It's a tool. Lately, though, I've been navigating it just by staying out of it. I do need to get back into it!

How often would you say your intuition, or an artistic instinct, came into play during the creation of this album?
I just did what felt right. This was the only thing that I could have done, so I made it. I did what felt right to me, and I just tried my best. All I did was follow my intuition.

What’s something you tend to do when you find yourself needing fresh perspectives or inspiration?
That’s something I actually need to work on. I probably should have some tools, but I don't have any. I don't really do anything. I kind of just, like, make music and I hang out at home. [laughs]

Well, something is certainly working with that, since you have such lovely songs coming out! What is the best gift you’ve ever received?
I want to say something like “love”, you know, but honestly, the best gift I've ever gotten is a pair of AirPods. I would never have spent that money on myself, they are so expensive, but my ex-girlfriend got them for me. I’m not big on the whole act of gift-giving - it just makes me uncomfortable. It's not that I don't like getting things for other people, but I tend to show my appreciation for others in different ways. I also just feel uncomfortable receiving gifts for birthdays because, yes, I'm another year older, but what have I done to deserve this? It makes me feel weird. Then there's some weird sort of social obligation where you have to get someone something of equal value, you know? Like, let's just get for ourselves what we want! But, the best gift I've ever gotten was those AirPods, because I use them all the time. They're sick on tour. People will be snoring and stuff on the bus, and I just can't hear it. It’s crazy.

Are there any forms of escapism besides music that you gravitate towards?
I love to ride my bike. Unfortunately one of my things is that I love eating, which in excess, you know, isn’t great! I also love to spend time with my family and my dog. Hanging out with my dog is the best form of therapy.

After the busy and exciting times of an album release and tour settles, where do you see yourself?
I've got no idea, but that's the exciting part for me. I never want to know exactly where I'm going to be. I could wake up tomorrow and it could be the best day of my life, or not. But hopefully after the tour, I'll have some time at home with my family.